Circumstances.

There will be times when a person means more than everything.
There will be times when everything means more than the same person.

What’s the difference?
Simply, the situation. The consequences, the side effects.

Does everything fall under the effect of circumstances? Should everything be affected by it?

Going through each day, with the same occurences. Sooner than later, they always fade. The noise of Work errodes everything else. Just when will we have Peace?

As the lights change and time passes over, i realize why i’ve always needed an anchor over here. For it’s the time and place that sheds some light on my anchor, of the other side.

Over the mountains and seas

“try” he says.
“take the risk” is what i see.

Try to make things work.
Risk many many truckloads of heartache.

The pros.. the cons.. there’s nothing to weigh because fear easily outweighs them all. But i don’t know the difference between love and fear. Do the tears flow because i’m afraid? Yet the rain does not lie; it reflects my heart and the tears it would have shed if it could.

I only have to imagine the distance and i’d be wishing for the rain. So why wouldnt i seek a solution that would cut me some slack? I know that somethings are worth it all. Yet time flies by, changing things. And people are no execption. I don’t trust myself to hold up on my own that way. I just don’t. If memories could be erased, then i just might have the strength.

Posted from WordPress for Android

You tell me

It’s odd, the way i can’t seem to treat wordpress like how i used to treat my blogspot.

I was told that i had a cycle. A week before my ttotm, i’ll be really sweet and nice. And during my ttotm, i become very needy cos i’d whine about the pain a lot. And i’ll want someone there. Then the next 2 weeks would be hell. I’d forget all the nice things done for me and dish out hell like a specialty.

Posted from WordPress for Android

It’s a beautiful day

Things i’ve said and done.
Things i’ve said and never did.
Things i’ve never said but did.
Things i’ve never said and never did.
Which would hold the most regret?

They say.. actions speak louder than words, and that pictures are worth a thousand words.
Is that why i selfishly wish for your immediate presence? And that i was a better subject, so you’d have more interest?
Yet i wish i had the ability and skills. To do to you, what you’d want. Instead of doing these ideas and plans i dreamed of for myself. Happier am i to give you my dream as reality, than to have it realized for me.

& i’m waiting for the sun to shine.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Just a slight touch.

The smallest action throws me into a moment of doubt. Just what will it take? For me to trust myself in those situations..

I’ll always have an eye on my past. Without it, i wouldn’t be where i am, or who i am today. With it, i wonder if i’ll be able to move forward..

Life is such an overrated drama. Always two sides to everything.

For the moment, restrain shall hold the indulgence with the slightest touch. Refrain shall prevent the progress.

Posted from WordPress for Android

Never Always :)

A question floated by, “who is able to take all my crap?”
The answer isn’t my present, but my past.
But that’s only for now right?
When will i muster the courage to bare my all? (not literally or physically of course)
When will i see that letting you know, see, and experience, will bring us closer? (i can only hope)
That fearing your response, and avoid hurting you may not necessarily do us good..
my Ups and my Downs.
I want to share them.
my Past and my Present.
I want to share them.
I want to share them all, with you.
& i hope you’ll find the strength in yourself, to stand strong. & find me at the start of the end.

On another note, He has always taken every bit of my crap, since my birth. *smiles*
& He never once forsake me. For that, i can never thank Him enough. I may not be able to love like Him, but i’ve been loved by Him more than enough, to be able to share His love. *grins* ^^

aaahhhh… I sound like some love sick preacher person. meep! ><

Posted from WordPress for Android

Just a little tired.

There’s always a time when i feel really tired.. day after day, night after night, heading somewhere to do some other thing. I’m tired. & the most i can hope for is that i’ll get a day off from work on my birthday, to sleep in, chill, and take my lovely time in getting things done.

I want to go KL and ice skate, eat A & W, and play band hero. I want to live like there’s no tomorrow. Although i can’t do what i want to do, i’ll do what i can to live in the present.

People are different. Not everyone will get along upon meeting. Different characters, personalities, and moods. There’s a lot to understand and know about. And then there’s acceptance and rejection. Just because one person is fine with others, does not mean that another will feel, think or react in a similar way. I must remember, that the world does not look the same to another.

Hmm… I’m probably tired because it’s been a long long time since i’ve been ‘out’ this long. And i’m allowing the last horror to haunt me.. with few ways around it. So i’ll just go thru it. At the end, i know i’ll get thru it. ^^

Posted from WordPress for Android

Why, hello..

Jeremy asked me last night, how come i stopped wordpressing..
The first reply that came to mind was “i prefer writing to typing”.. then again, i don’t quite have the time for all that. Will need to cut back on sleep and facebooking at home. Really, facebook is such a time killer. Raaw~

Ever wondered how work takes out the most in life? How we let it do that without question? Yeah, i’m pretty much caught up in that. & i’m yearning to get out of this never ending loop. I need to break the surface and take a breather. You’re only ‘Young’ for so long. Crazy things aren’t going to do themselves. Right now isn’t ever going to come by once more, never again, not ever.

Posted from WordPress for Android

MIXED.

Think before you act. Think before you speak. We hear that almost all the time. How we should always think of the consequences of our actions/words. Be it in the long run or an immediate effect. We need to think of the future.

One step at a time. Take things as they come, step by step. Don’t think about the future. Just focus on the present and see where it leads you.

A simple thought turned out to be so full of contradiction. So why is it that when it comes to “Love”, people say: don’t think so much about it, step by step is fine. Is it because matters of the heart can not be explained? Or that the heart is an unpredictable lead actor/actress in the future?

I was pondering over this topic for the past.. many many days.. and the answer i was given is “don’t worry”.

Because He holds my future & He will unfold it for me, minute by minute, by the hours and days.

Posted from WordPress for Android

ha. Love? ha.

the first thing i wanted to do was run away. far far away.
away from the possibility of letting hurt and pain reach her.
i want to take her far far away.
far away from him; he who draws her out the way he does.
i want to shield her eyes and not let her see this ugly reality.
far far away from all things that would taint her.
we are of the same, yet we are like ying and yang.

but i can’t always run the opposite direction at the drop of a pin.
& that’s not quite the focus right now. cause i’m lost..
at the fact that i felt sad enough to start crying..
or that i am actually concerned about him feeling horrible..
i don’t see why i should harp on something one could call “insignificant”..
but then.. wouldn’t that mean that i took my gifts only at their surface value?
gifts may not be as important, but it doesn’t mean that they’re insignificant.
it doesn’t mean that they are to be given to be forgotten.
then again, forgetting is human err.
there’s not right or wrong.. only how important..

he already apologized. thou it’s simply words, i know he is sincere.
even more so, i don’t see why i should harp on it.